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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Almost there!

Well, we made it to the last week.  The last week has been an eventful one!  Things have been very stop and go.  I had really good contractions a week ago.  The doctor on call gave me a Lortab, which pretty effectively stopped what contractions I was having.  Unfortunately, they never really picked up again after that.  I've had back pain and aches, but no real contractions and no real progress as of Wednesday.  I go back to the doctor tomorrow to see if anything new has happened in the last 5 days.

I've been lucky with this pregnancy really.  I had morning sickness, but it was manageable.  I didn't swell until 2 weeks ago, and I lost all of that water retention and swelling within a week.  I really didn't hurt or feel too miserable until 2 weeks ago.  I haven't gained much weight.  I know a lot of people who have had a much harder time with being pregnant, so I try not to complain too much.

I've had a harder time dealing with the last week than I have anything else that has happened.  I've never handled the unknown very well. (Maybe that's why I like teaching....I can plan ahead even if those plans have to change).  I like the unknown even less when there is no clear cut answer as to what I need to be watching for.

I understand that labor is different for everyone, but when it's your first time, that's kind of a crap answer.  I've had to work very hard this week to keep from second-guessing and becoming frustrated with myself and others.  I beat myself up wondering if I would already be holding my little Fish if I hadn't accepted the Lortab last weekend.  That has been the hardest thing for me to overcome.  If that choice stalled things, I am very frustrated with myself.

On the bright side, I've attempted to stay busy getting the house ready.  Through much stress, hard work, and a few tears, the house is pretty much ready.  I've had some great help from lots of people, and I REALLY appreciate them all!  Having the house clean and ready for a baby has been my biggest stressor throughout my pregnancy.  Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that I am not the greatest of housekeepers.  It's a skill that I know I will have to maintain from this point forward.

I am also officially on maternity leave as of tomorrow.  My doctor gave me "the look" when I talked about coming back to work after Spring Break.  He didn't tell me I couldn't work, but you could tell he didn't approve either.  After much deliberation, I asked his opinion.  He advised that I stay home.  I think this is mostly for ease of getting to the hospital if something were to happen this week.  I'm a little nervous about having time on my hands.  I think part of my struggle last week was not having as much to occupy my mind.  Work has kept me focused on other things besides going into labor.

Hopefully things will pick up quickly this week, so I won't have much time on my hands to think about it!

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